We have found that the gods, perhaps because I'm an atheist, I hate it. It seems to me that there are other possible explanations. I have already explained in a separate my belief that the average IQ of the human species fluctuate between 75 and 80 , but even so the number of idiots and lunatics who regularly find myself at his feet is in serious violation of the principle of uniform distribution of idiots.
I mean, one that is already coming back from vacation has to think about his two projects in late, the Blackberry buzzing in the waiting room to inform me that there are 750 business email in attesa di esser lette - inclusa quella che mi informa dello slittamento della consegna di mezzo milione di sterline in hardware critico per quello che in questo momento è il progetto più importante della mia unità - la schiena che brucia un po' per ricordarmi che anche in Piemonte il sole italiano non è quello inglese, e 5 ore in piscina all'aperto prima o poi si pagano...
Insomma, se c'era una cosa di cui proprio non avevo bisogno era di fare il viaggio in compagnia dell'idea platonica della lettrice dell'Independent.
È stato, per certi versi, illuminante. La realizzazione del fatto che per tutti questi anni ho vissuto nella caverna, limitandomi ad osservare l'ombra, moltiplicata mille volte, This woman who was reading the Independent (and eating organic farro salad and soy germ, drinking water, carbon-neutral zero calories (*)), was a real shock.
No, he was sitting next to me. The gods, cruel and evil, they made me take off until after the lull in the illusion of having won an idiot-free space for the duration of the flight, until the idea I was placed next to the corridor , in line for the bathroom, holding a small bomb at the operator bacteriological frignante.
Idea has spent most of the flight line for the bathroom, bringing back and forth (and for some mysterious reason, stopping almost always alla mia altezza) un bebè dell'apparente eta' del piu' piccolo dei miei nipoti, fra uno e due anni, diciamo, completamente ricoperto di eruzioni cutanee, sfoghi e pustole, una manifestazione assolutamente spettacolare di vaccapi' quale malattia esantematica con, a quanto pare, complicazioni a gola e naso e forse ai bronchi.
L'Idea aveva un'amica al seguito (la chiameremo, per brevità, Idea2, per quanto sembri il nome di un mobilificio) con cui chiacchierava in continuazione ad un volume talmente elevato che, non fosse stato per l'accento decisamente british upper class , l'avrei presa per americana.
L'Idea stava commentando con Idea2 quanto fosse preoccupata per il pargolo, to which Bach flowers seemed to make no effect, as was becoming necessary to go to the bathroom to change diapers every 10-20 minutes, and wondered if he should also start using the dye Ayurvedic doctor (!) had recommended in case of complications. I can only hope that when he spoke of "doctor" was referring to one of the many charlatans in this country and not just play misunderstood as praiseworthy work to help the evolution of species - but knowing the English health care system, I fear who spoke in reality 'just a guy with a lot of doctor of medicine.
change the subject from time to time, Ideas & Idea2 (yes, ok, I know, really seem to furniture stores, poor Plato) commented enthusiastically the wedding reception that had been. In Piedmont, a beautiful region - not like the chav (**) going to marry in Tuscany, eh, something refined, beautiful, with two menus, one vegetarian and one vegan (which then require a vegetarian menu and a to a vegan chef Piedmont guess now the poor man is being treated for post-traumatic stress syndrome) and above all with the touch of class to a priestess of Gaia to officiate the ceremony.
I swear. The
said. So, as if nothing had happened, "they Brought the Gaia priestess from home with Them, They Have Known her for years", or something del genere. In piedi lì mentre il bimbo rigorosamente mai vaccinato e curato con i fiori di Bach e la tintura ayurvedica omeopatica cristalloterapica frignava, vestite di seta grezza dello Shenyang prodotta da cooperative ecosostenibili e di cotone equo e solidale del Mozambico (in prima classe su un Boeing di British Airways, ma suppongo che non si possa avere tutto dalla vita - potendo scegliere avrebbero preso un volo ecosostenibile su un aereo assemblato artigianalmente da comunita' indigene di Irian Jaya), si complimentavano a vicenda per far parte dell'elite che va ai matrimoni officiati dalle sacerdotesse di Gaia. Purtroppo, tragicamente, l'aereo non si è spezzato a metà come quello di Lost, risucchiandole nel vuoto come deserved in a universe governed by principles of justice. Instead, what has happened is that I put the headphones to hear them not, and I began to watch a movie on the laptop.
I had never done.
Tap tap, it makes me a finger on his shoulder. "Yes?" I ask her finger. I look up, and the owner of equity and solidarity of the finger, our friend Idea, looks at me with a pretty face angry even though cleverly disguised with cosmetics cruelty-free products from artisan cooperatives ... Oh well, 'well, we understood each other. idea is disturbing that I'm watching a war movie as she is holding the infant in a position where it could see the screen. Idea, he explains, not wants the delicate psyche of the infant is influenced by scenes of violence. Restrain the impulse to explain that the infant should they felt lucky to be able to affect the frontal lobes of something, anything, before they are irreparably damaged by high fever of all childhood diseases that strike, and that dear mother will refuse categorically to treat with anything that is not piss of a snake. We also try, but I know that the words "frontal lobes", which give too much of science, his brain would go to emergency shutdown and I am talking to the editorial section of The Independent. I will therefore confine myself to observing that it has two fully functioning legs, which can be used to a) spostarsi e b) girare leggermente su se stessa fino a che Baby Bioweapon non sia più esposto alle immagini di violenza che emergono dallo schermo del mio computer.
Idea non è soddisfatta dalla mia offerta di compromesso, scodella il pargolo a Idea2 e parte alla ricerca di una hostess, alla quale spiega concitatamente il problema. La hostess viene verso di me, guarda me, guarda Idea, guarda Idea2, fa un attimo di aritmetica mentale per calcolare chi di noi abbia maggiori probabilità di scassarle (figurativamente) la minchia fino all'atterraggio se non ottiene quello che vuole, si china verso di me con un sorriso di scusa e mi spiega, porella, che sa di non avere il diritto di chiedermi alcunchè, ma per amore di quiet life, I could be so kind to look at something else, or at least put in a position from which the screen is not visible from the corridor?
Again, I would to point out that in the long run, give in to bullies and nasty and hysterical girls does not help the quiet life, but I realize that is not the time and place for a discussion of the genre - and then the hostess is really nice despite the uniform of a BA (known as a giant erotic Bruno Vespa) and I'm not going to argue it or argue with Idea. So, I turn off the laptop and I start to read. This book here, making sure that idea will see the title - although, of course, is physiologically unable to understand what it's about.
(*) I know you're thinking that you look for a ride. If I can find the Fresh & Wild when I saw the bottles I take a picture
(**) Coatti, English version
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